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the Presence of an Accent?

Does the Presence of an Accent mean the Lack of Intelligence in HoCo? A couple of months ago, my mother and I went to the doctor's office, and once the receptionist heard the accented words leave my mother's mouth to announce that she was here for her appointment, she immediately got irritated and repeated that she could not understand my mother at all. It continued like that for about a minute until my mom asked me to repeat what she had said. I could see that my mother was struggling and … [Read more...]

SRO reactions

Less of a story and more general observations over the past few months of how parents/community members respond to the call to remove SROs from schools. Not surprising, but still disappointing, how many white parents are intent on keeping SROs instead of listening and seeking out the voices of students/ families, many who are Black and brown, who are impacted negatively by police presence in school all the time. This would be the time to amplify the voice of someone who has been harmed, not … [Read more...]

Being followed in a store

Wandering through B&N and noticed staff following me. Didn't think much of it, other than they must have known I worked for their rival. It didn't hit me until afterwards, they were following me since I was the only non-white person in the store. … [Read more...]

limiting college choices

My daughter's top choice for a college to attend was somewhat selective, private college with a high tuition cost which we had determined was within reach both in terms of her academic record and our budget for her college education. Her white, female guidance counselor insisted repeatedly that she needed to go to HCC instead of her top choice. When I questioned her about it, her only explanation was that that was the route her family had chosen for her children and therefore it should be a good … [Read more...]

Neighborhood revitalization

I was recently dismayed at a meeting with members of my community opposed to a new apartment complex in our neighborhood. People testified against it by saying “you know how apartment people are”. I interpreted this as a racist comment and opposed to my strong views of why Columbia was developed and why we chose it as a place to live no raise our children. … [Read more...]

People Need Housing

I was asked by neighbors in my upper middle-class neighborhood to join them in opposing high-density housing nearby. They cited busy streets and schools, but I felt they were really opposing mixing of classes and that this had racist undertones. I would like for the diversity in Howard County to also include the recognition that people of all race-classes deserve a place to live and that we can share our spaces and resources. … [Read more...]

Knocking on Doors for the US Census

I am a white woman who worked for the US Census part-time for 4 weeks in the summer of 2020, going door to door to collect census data from folks who had not yet responded to the census. My experience was that white people were more willing to talk with me than people of color (POC.) It also seemed to me that white people were more comfortable and trusting of the federal govt than POC. It seems to me that there is typically less trust between whites and POC in Howard County. … [Read more...]

Harriet Tubman Building

I heard about an act of vandalism that occurred at the Harriet Tubman Building, and it was noted that it appeared to be a deliberately targeted act with racism as the motivator. I learned for the first time about the existence of this enterprise, and it struck me as how out of the ordinary it must be for someone to go out of their way in a planned and determined way to take this action. … [Read more...]

Being Asian in America

This incident happened during the start of the pandemic. It is something that shocked me to my core, something that, made me reevaluate my opinions of howard county and its community. This event happened to me. I was shopping at the grocery store, trying to pick up something for me and my family that night. As I was at the hot bar for the store looking at the selection, I was approached by a man. He saw me and saw that I was looking at buying some chicken and leans in and says. "You know they … [Read more...]

20+ years later, high school experience is still the same.

At a recent Howard County Board of Education meeting, a student provided testimony about his experience with racism/discrimination. He rattled off a list of Instagram pages that detail the racist and discriminatory experiences students have experienced in Howard County (ex. antiracisthoco). He asked when will it stop; when will his brother come home and not have to say that someone asked him if he had covid or ate bats. Hearing this made me feel profoundly sad as his experiences seemed so … [Read more...]

Enough is Enough

In my neighborhood, a few months ago a white neighbor's home was vandalized. Without any evidence, the white neighbor accused another neighbor's son, who was black, of the incident. My black neighbor was very upset because there was no evidence for this accusation. After a few weeks of investigation, it was found that it was someone from outside. Some of us in the neighborhood approached the white neighbor and asked her reasons. According to her someone told her it was a couple of black … [Read more...]

Triggering

During a meeting a white woman leaned over to a Black acquaintance telling her "I just have to say I am so impressed by how articulate you are." … [Read more...]

Black Lives Matter at GMS

My family lives in Western Howard County and our children attend Bushy Park and Glenelg High School. Last month, the signboard outside of Glenwood Middle School was vandalized. Before it was vandalized, it read "Black Lives Matter at GMS." After it was vandalized, it read "Lives Matter at GMS" with the "Black" spray painted over. In this part of the county, it was predictable and shameful. … [Read more...]

Not My HOA

My community was experiencing some conflicts between a renter and an owner that live in townhomes built directly across from one another. The Renter was a Black Woman with a child and the Owner was a White Man and his family of 4. The Owner took issues with things they observed going on in or around the renter's home involving police and also gripes about parking issues. The Renter complained that she was constantly being racially harassed by the Owner. She claimed she had been … [Read more...]

Verbal Abuse

I was abused verbally as I was walking through a parking lot. The abuser was a Caucasian elderly lady, very elegant and discrete, that became enraged at me for no reason other than I was behind her car as she was backing up. She treated me as if I was her maid. … [Read more...]

Bullying on the School Bus

As we have moved back to in-person learning in the public school system, my daughter (Hispanic) had been picked on by another girl. An older girl on the bus, African-American, comforted my daughter, as she had been crying because of the incident. Later, the girl that comforted my daughter talked to me about the experience and how she helped. Later, I saw the girl's mother at the bus stop and complimented her on how kind her daughter had been to my kindergartner. I'm not sure if this illustrates … [Read more...]

Surveillance

Recently, I've noticed a paranoia in the use of the Ring camera/doorbell. Those of us on Nextdoor to share information with our neighbors are often bombarded with accusatory videos. It feels biased and judgmental. The uploading of these videos seems to disrupt community rather than to promote it. … [Read more...]

Kids

There was a huge stir in our neighborhood about thievery from 'youths' that would hang out in the park and wilderness area. These 'youths' might have stolen a bike from someone, and may have been responsible for burglarizing a neighbor's house in the recent past, but there was no proof whatsoever of any of these suspicions. At the time, I walked through this park area on my way to and from work on a regular basis. I finally managed to meet these some kids there, all young teenage boys of color. … [Read more...]

Undocumented

I have been very disheartened to hear about the effort by some in Howard County to overturn the County bill passed that County police not ask people about their status (documented/undocumented). People collecting signatures for a ballot initiative to overturn the law were not truthful in telling people the reason for the petition. I have heard that the question will be on the ballot and people may be uninformed and overturn the bill. It's very sad how people view undocumented people. … [Read more...]

Racism Fatigue

Conversations have continued vigorously on the subject of racism and anti-racism. That is progress, but with that progress I have experienced what I would term "racism fatigue". I hear comments such as, "I'm tired of talking about racism and white privilege,", etc. These are good people voicing these sentiments: friends, colleagues, family. I think the weariness comes from, after becoming aware of white privilege and racism, what then? What can we do? As individuals, as community leaders, as … [Read more...]

Forced Out

My Black neighbor had to vacate their home last week. Covid hit their family hard, and they weren't able to pay rent for several months. Their white landlord didn't help them with rent assistance and made them leave when their lease went up. It was a tragic disruption to their lives and a blow to our neighborhood. … [Read more...]

Students Discuss Anti-racism

In the spring of 2016, a student at Howard HS made a racist video about Black students. One of my children attended Hammond HS class of 2016. She and her friends hosted a sit-in at HaHS's parking lot to protest racism and discuss their feelings about the racist vitriol expressed by fellow HoCo students. They invited teachers and administrators and all HaHS students to participate. FYI. Hammond HS has one of the most diverse student bodies in the county. … [Read more...]

Columbia Mall

This happened with me and my brother in 2019. So, this isn't recent but that is the most recent story that I can share from my experience. We were in the Columbia Mall and doing what most people do.... shopping. My brother accidently bumped shoulders with a young white female...maybe in her 30's. She did not fall or get hurt; it was a light shoulder bump. My brother apologized before she could say anything, but her reaction took us both by shock! She said, "go back to your country and get … [Read more...]

Rude for no Reason

Recently I was shopping and there was a young African American man in the store who was shelving items. I was near him and overheard a conversation between him and a white woman. She was rude, condescending, and dismissive of him despite seeking his help to find a product. I saw her a few aisles later laughing with a white store employee. … [Read more...]

Traffic Watch

Since hearing a Race Equity Collaborative colleague tell of his son being followed by police here in HoCo, I started watching during my short, pandemic-range drives to see who I saw stopped by the cops. Only once did a see a white person stopped. All the other stops (<10) were people of color. I'm not at all convinced this relates to minding the driving rules. Certainly not speed-related driving rules. I've seen plenty of white males whizzing past me at excessive speeds, ignoring stop signs, … [Read more...]

Sick and tired of being sick and tired

I had a long conversation a few months ago with a self-identified Black African American woman leader who's a native born Columbian. She's been active with several community and progressive political action committees as well. After just asking her, how she's doing, she unloaded a ton about her frustration in working with some well-intended but passive white bystanders within one of the committees she's worked in. I noticed just how exhausted and stressed she was and encouraged her to center … [Read more...]

AAPI Stereotypes

I was born and raised in Howard County. I'm half Filipino and half white. Growing up, I experienced extreme fetishism and microaggressions on a daily basis. I was bullied so bad that my Filipino mother couldn't drop us off at school or the bus stop anymore. I graduated from Glenelg high school in 2015, and there I was told by male students that they've always wanted to "f*ck an exotic". They would call me oriental. I had friends tell me that I was "white enough to be their friend, but … [Read more...]

Gate keepers

People who run boards and other leadership spaces want to keep them the same- same white community members who make decisions for our entire (diverse) community. Diversity is given lip service, but the gate-keepers are real. … [Read more...]

Placing Blame Instead of Taking Responsibility

I was recently on an email thread about CA/village elections. There are currently no people of color of on the Board. The exchange started with someone raising the need to get people of color elected to the Board, and unfortunately the responses were defensive and blamed people of color for not being more involved in village boards rather than recognizing that we have a system which is clearly not inclusive. … [Read more...]

Small Changes Make a Difference

At first I was a little hesitant to choose this prompt, because HoCo is known for being progressive. But then I began ticking off recent events: the caller into a town hall who disparaged immigrants, the vandalism of the GMS sign, the property damage at local restaurants over the Chinese New Year holiday. I began to realize there are more instances of "things that have to change" than I would like to admit in the county. … [Read more...]

Affirmative Action and safety

During a church related zoom meeting, a mature, white, female made the statement (which was off topic): "I don't know why they insist that women and black people have to be hired as pilots. The best candidates should be chosen, regardless of who they are." I wanted to ask her if she felt that safety had been compromised because of affirmative action, but it was not the topic of the meeting, and since it was zoom, there was no usual break time to chat. I am frustrated that I'll have to wait until … [Read more...]

Immigrant Rights

During the Trump administration, I got into a discussion with several neighbors regarding immigration. One neighbor stated that " if people don't want to become citizens they should go back to their country." I thought this statement was very naive and insensitive. At the time this statement was made - one of my neighbors, who was sharing in the conversation, had been waiting for more than 18 months to get approval for citizenship status. This led to a debate of history, culture and rights. More … [Read more...]

How “United” Are We Really?

Ever since the school redistricting process started here in Howard County a few years ago, there are community members who are very vocal online, specifically on a "United" Facebook group. I taught in an elementary school in an "affluent" area. Parents had their children go to a private school rather than go to the "not so affluent" school their children were being redistricted to. One parent wrote "My child will not be going to school with those children, it is a bad school!" Who are "those" … [Read more...]

Shopping

When shopping at Wegman's, after using restroom I mistakenly left the store with the wrong cart. I discovered the mistake when I arrived at my car. Immediately returned to the store to find a clerk (Black) with the customer (White) whose cart I had taken, only to be asked had I taken any of his items. Even though the cart I had left in the store had 3 times as many groceries. Understanding that the other cart owner was not joking, I responded certainly not and left with my cart with the clerk … [Read more...]

Social Media Flames

A recent social media posting about a HCPSS assignment about white privilege brought out tremendous response - anger, defensiveness, and snark from many white participants, but also attempts by both white and black individuals to educate and offer different perspectives. Emotions were high and nobody seemed to walk away with a different point of view. … [Read more...]

Hate and Bias in Education

My daughter (8) wore Bantu knots into elementary school. She was ridiculed for having her hair in a culturally appropriate, but uncommon, hairstyle. Within this same school, she has received requests to touch her hair throughout her different hairstyles including natural and braided. Recently she has asked me to straighten her hair (in order to fit in better and be more accepted). … [Read more...]

Race and Disability

I work with individuals with autism and families...all too often children who are black and brown are diagnosed and receiving services much later than while children by a few years. Behaviors are identified instead of considering underlying disability. … [Read more...]

The Sound of Music

Observing a HCYP baseball game I overheard a conversation between two mom's from my son's public school. One was bemoaning that there were "Hebrew songs at the Christmas concert". I volunteer for Howard County Parents for School Music and we encourage music teachers to have their concert programs reflect the diversity of our community - - and I generally feel so proud about this being expressed at our concerts. Yet this woman was clearly put off by this. I am Jewish and wondered in the moment if … [Read more...]

Anti-Asian Sentiment?

Someone I know (of Asian Descent) was at a Grocery Store in Howard County. They were minding their own business when all of a sudden, a man (of Caucasian descent) pushed his cart and began cursing at them (not sure what prompted this) we are not sure if this is related to the current wave of anti-Asian sentiment … [Read more...]

Improve Don’t Move?

The most recent debates around redistricting schools in Howard County was the ugliest I've seen. Racism and classism were both subtle and overt. Opponents revived the "separate but equal" sentiments of Jim Crow with "improve don't move" signs which they littered throughout the county, including near schools with high percentages of students of color and students eligible for free and reduced meals. Bussing was a near constant refrain of why things shouldn't change. … [Read more...]

Love Thy Neighbor

I am African American. For the past year, we have been at home due to the pandemic. During this time, I have done a great deal of walking around the neighborhood with my daughters. I have noticed that at the beginning of the pandemic, people (white) were more neighborly and I started to get a sense that we were all in this together and after the Black Lives Matter movement, things were going in the right direction. As the year has gone on, I have watched my neighbors return to their old ways of … [Read more...]

Restaurant reported racist attacks

A restaurant in my community was the target of racist attacks a few months back. Some people had scrawled racist epithets on the outside of the store. One of the owners of the restaurant - an Indian American man - was also yelled at and told to go back where he came from. … [Read more...]

Too Close for COVID

I'm a Black woman, and I used the large pool in Columbia during Covid. My observation at the pool was that most folks were happy to follow the new Covid protocols - no matter what race. There were a few occasions, however, when a pool patron was unwilling to follow the rules. I noticed that when a person of color was around the pool and their mask was on improperly (or not at all) - there was swift action from the pool staff to ask them to either put the mask on or pull the mask up. I also … [Read more...]

Empathy and Worship?

My indigenous friends experienced racism from Howard County police last year. It was very traumatic. The wife bravely shared this experience in a church setting as an example of when prayer helped her. A former police officer in the group stuck up for the police and denied there being any racism in the situation. I tried to meet up with this person later to hear her side and perhaps convince her to be more empathetic towards the indigenous person. She refused and shared a lot more racist … [Read more...]

School to Prison Pipeline

I recently heard one of our African American County Leaders make a statement about Howard County not having a school to prison pipeline. I was very disappointed in his statement and felt that his statement was false. I work with marginalized families in Howard County every day and I know that so many our families males (especially African American Males) are in jail at high numbers. As a County Official of color, he should be more engaged in the statistics before making comments like that. … [Read more...]

Denying the Problem

"An elementary school in HCPSS had "Black Lives Matter" on their marquee and someone spray-painted over "Black" on Friday. This afternoon, HCPSS leadership (BoE and Superintendent) shared a press release denouncing it as a hate crime and standing in solidarity with BLM. The story doesn't end there. On the Facebook post from HCPSS sharing the press release, many people dismissed the vandalism and criticized the idea of the original message saying Black Lives Matter was a political statement … [Read more...]

HCPS vandalism

My Spouse works for HCPSS, One day he let me know of a meeting he was attending about a recent vandalism in a school bathroom. I usually don't ask follow up questions about work, but this time I enquired. To my surprise he said that the incident involved swastikas being painted. I was shocked to hear that this would occur in my community and the idea that children were responsible. This is equally upsetting because my spouses family is Jewish and I know this affected my spouse deeply, despite … [Read more...]

Two different worlds

The pandemic brought the moment of "things have got to change". The xenophobia triggered by "China virus" or "Chinese virus" and all kinds of conspiracy theories caused collateral damages on the Asian American communities. Many anti-Asian American incidents happened across the country. I feel a new version of Chinese exclusion law coming up. That is very crazy. However, at the local community, I have so many friendly neighbors and friends of different ethnic backgrounds. It is very difficult for … [Read more...]

Everyday Trauma

I am traumatized daily around the pronunciation of my name, which to some, is an ethnic spin on a traditionally white name. I am full of grace for mispronunciation. We all need that. What is never graceful is others asking why my name is spelled or pronounced the way it is. Or, those who go further to tell me I am mispronouncing my own name! I formerly thought of these interactions as microaggressions, but as it literally happens almost everyday, there's nothing micro about it at all. It mounts … [Read more...]

Missing Talent

"My (white) daughter was online in her gifted and talented class. I happened to come in to put away some laundry and glanced at her screen. I was stunned to see that in all the class there was only one Black child, although there are about equal number of white and Black students in the school (Asian kids were pretty well represented). I thought, "Oh, no! There are missing kids. Missing Black talent." And then I felt overwhelmed. "I'm not even in the school system. How are we supposed to … [Read more...]

Another story

Another story: I Don't Tell People I'm Chinese Anymore As the rates of Asian American hate crime cases started going up, and I witnessed how my community members were reacting to it, several Asian Based shops got vandalized. My dad sat me and my little brother down and told us not to tell people I'm Chinese anymore, as if we already didn't know that. … [Read more...]

Buyer Beware

Buyer Beware: My husband and I began renting a home when we relocated to Howard County a few years ago. Last year we began looking for a home to purchase here. We were shocked and saddened when our realtor suggested we not look or purchase in certain areas of Columbia (he named them) because the schools and neighbors "were bad". We purchased in Columbia with another agent. I shudder to think how many home buyers have had similar experiences and the detriment it causes to our community. … [Read more...]

Racist Mail

Our neighborhood received racist mail. A sticker was placed on old magazines and flyers that promoted interracial distancing due to COVID, and the flyers were distributed in driveways. There is no place in Howard county for this type of hate and ignorance. … [Read more...]

Change Is Needed

At first I was a little hesitant to choose this prompt, because HoCo is known for being progressive. But then I began ticking off recent events: the caller into a town hall who disparaged immigrants, the vandalism of the GMS sign, the property damage at local restaurants over the Chinese New Year holiday. I began to realize there are more instances of "things that have to change" than I would like to admit in the county. … [Read more...]

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