HoCo is a very diverse place - even more so now than when I was a child. I'm hopeful that having this many people together will mean more understanding for everyone. … [Read more...]
My Church
I go to Christ Church Episcopal Church in Columbia. We are currently involved in a ministry called RAGE. Racially Aware Group of Episcopalians, which explores issues of systemic racism and what we can do to be educated and active in seeking justice and equity for all … [Read more...]
Shopping
When shopping at Wegman's, after using restroom I mistakenly left the store with the wrong cart. I discovered the mistake when I arrived at my car. Immediately returned to the store to find a clerk (Black) with the customer (White) whose cart I had taken, only to be asked had I taken any of his items. Even though the cart I had left in the store had 3 times as many groceries. Understanding that the other cart owner was not joking, I responded certainly not and left with my cart with the clerk … [Read more...]
Social Media Flames
A recent social media posting about a HCPSS assignment about white privilege brought out tremendous response - anger, defensiveness, and snark from many white participants, but also attempts by both white and black individuals to educate and offer different perspectives. Emotions were high and nobody seemed to walk away with a different point of view. … [Read more...]
Opportunity to Read and Understand
Recently asked to create an AAPI booklist appropriate for k-12 students for members of the AAPI task force. Back & forth process of communicating with members of AAPI task force members and the recognition that this needs to be an ongoing process gives me hope for being able to promote and connect Ho Co children & teens with materials to broaden understanding of the experiences of the AAPI community gives me hope. … [Read more...]
Hate and Bias in Education
My daughter (8) wore Bantu knots into elementary school. She was ridiculed for having her hair in a culturally appropriate, but uncommon, hairstyle. Within this same school, she has received requests to touch her hair throughout her different hairstyles including natural and braided. Recently she has asked me to straighten her hair (in order to fit in better and be more accepted). … [Read more...]
Confederacy in Maryland
Confederate flags flown in neighborhood. Black Matters signs being referred to as racist. During Trump presidency, some white neighbors stopped speaking/interacting. I have no evidence it was related to the presidency but that was the only thing that changed, as those neighbors had no issue interacting with our family before that time. … [Read more...]
Race and Disability
I work with individuals with autism and families...all too often children who are black and brown are diagnosed and receiving services much later than while children by a few years. Behaviors are identified instead of considering underlying disability. … [Read more...]
The Sound of Music
Observing a HCYP baseball game I overheard a conversation between two mom's from my son's public school. One was bemoaning that there were "Hebrew songs at the Christmas concert". I volunteer for Howard County Parents for School Music and we encourage music teachers to have their concert programs reflect the diversity of our community - - and I generally feel so proud about this being expressed at our concerts. Yet this woman was clearly put off by this. I am Jewish and wondered in the moment if … [Read more...]
Sharing Treats
Last week my son and his friends were talking about foods - everything from what kind of ramen noodles to buy at H-Mart to what kind of chocolate to use when making chocolate chip cookies. Then they decided to share with each other. Four of them dropped off at each other's houses a treat. What struck me is how interested they were in each other's cultures/traditions. One Pakistani Muslim family, one Korean family, one white family, and one Chinese family. That's what I like about Howard County- … [Read more...]
Anti-Asian Sentiment?
Someone I know (of Asian Descent) was at a Grocery Store in Howard County. They were minding their own business when all of a sudden, a man (of Caucasian descent) pushed his cart and began cursing at them (not sure what prompted this) we are not sure if this is related to the current wave of anti-Asian sentiment … [Read more...]
Improve Don’t Move?
The most recent debates around redistricting schools in Howard County was the ugliest I've seen. Racism and classism were both subtle and overt. Opponents revived the "separate but equal" sentiments of Jim Crow with "improve don't move" signs which they littered throughout the county, including near schools with high percentages of students of color and students eligible for free and reduced meals. Bussing was a near constant refrain of why things shouldn't change. … [Read more...]
One Book
My son's high school, Mt. Hebron High School, began a book club open to students, parents and community members called One Book. The club is meant to discuss pertinent issues in our communities regarding race, equality and progress. Our first meeting discussed Jason Reynolds and Ibram Kendi's book, Stamped. The conversations were powerful and enlightening. The group is just getting started. … [Read more...]
Ideal environment
Living in Howard County I noticed this is a very diverse community. I see children of different races playing together. In my neighborhood, there are multiracial families and a diverse racial representation. To me, this is the ideal environment for my kids to grow up in. … [Read more...]
Self-Realization
I increased my awareness of racism by expanding my circle of friends and learning about their experiences of overt and covert racism, and institutional racism. Why did I do this? I don't want to live in an unjust society and realize I need to do something, no matter how small, to contribute to social justice. I want to be an ally, to to become more empathetic, to understand my friends not as victims, but as humans like my self with similar aspirations. If I can make this leap and begin a new … [Read more...]
Love Thy Neighbor
I am African American. For the past year, we have been at home due to the pandemic. During this time, I have done a great deal of walking around the neighborhood with my daughters. I have noticed that at the beginning of the pandemic, people (white) were more neighborly and I started to get a sense that we were all in this together and after the Black Lives Matter movement, things were going in the right direction. As the year has gone on, I have watched my neighbors return to their old ways of … [Read more...]
Connecting with others
Last month I participated in a Howard County gathering for Courageous Conversations. My group of roughly ten participants included African Americans and other races, Christians, Jews, Muslims and other religions. In our challenging and open discussion, I was particularly struck by one very articulate African American women who commented after a lifetime of struggle with systemic racism and this summer's black lives matter events said she was simply exhausted; it was simply exhausting on a daily … [Read more...]
Restaurant reported racist attacks
A restaurant in my community was the target of racist attacks a few months back. Some people had scrawled racist epithets on the outside of the store. One of the owners of the restaurant - an Indian American man - was also yelled at and told to go back where he came from. … [Read more...]
Too Close for COVID
I'm a Black woman, and I used the large pool in Columbia during Covid. My observation at the pool was that most folks were happy to follow the new Covid protocols - no matter what race. There were a few occasions, however, when a pool patron was unwilling to follow the rules. I noticed that when a person of color was around the pool and their mask was on improperly (or not at all) - there was swift action from the pool staff to ask them to either put the mask on or pull the mask up. I also … [Read more...]
Empathy and Worship?
My indigenous friends experienced racism from Howard County police last year. It was very traumatic. The wife bravely shared this experience in a church setting as an example of when prayer helped her. A former police officer in the group stuck up for the police and denied there being any racism in the situation. I tried to meet up with this person later to hear her side and perhaps convince her to be more empathetic towards the indigenous person. She refused and shared a lot more racist … [Read more...]
Food for HoCo
The Indian cultural association has been distributing free food for all in HCLS parking lots during COVID, which is very heartening to see, given the anti immigrant conflicts in HoCo over the last few years. … [Read more...]
Neighborhood Picnic
My neighborhood has a picnic every year. We have a very diverse population in our group of nine families. Coming together in that way allows for connection not only on that day, but encourages it throughout the year. … [Read more...]
Undesign the Redline
My organization put on the Undesign the Redline exhibit and we received a lot of feedback from the community about racial inequality still having a long way to go. … [Read more...]
School to Prison Pipeline
I recently heard one of our African American County Leaders make a statement about Howard County not having a school to prison pipeline. I was very disappointed in his statement and felt that his statement was false. I work with marginalized families in Howard County every day and I know that so many our families males (especially African American Males) are in jail at high numbers. As a County Official of color, he should be more engaged in the statistics before making comments like that. … [Read more...]
Denying the Problem
"An elementary school in HCPSS had "Black Lives Matter" on their marquee and someone spray-painted over "Black" on Friday. This afternoon, HCPSS leadership (BoE and Superintendent) shared a press release denouncing it as a hate crime and standing in solidarity with BLM. The story doesn't end there. On the Facebook post from HCPSS sharing the press release, many people dismissed the vandalism and criticized the idea of the original message saying Black Lives Matter was a political statement … [Read more...]
Understanding Anti-Semitism
I do not really have a story about racism but I do have one about anti-semitism. Someone told my daughter a "Jewish Joke" which was inappropriate but told her not to tell her mother. Of course she did and I was quite upset. I talked to the person calmly and they did apologize and told me that they didn't think is would be hurtful but after I explained to him how hurtful it was he did apologize and said he wouldn't tell those type of jokes again. … [Read more...]
New to HOCO
I am new to Howard County, so I am still coming to an understanding of "typical race relations" here. What I can say is, I have never experienced the level of commitment to conversation and knowledge surrounding racial equity and race relations that I have seen in Howard County. … [Read more...]
Authenticity at Work
Recently, I've been so cognizant of the fact that as a white woman in business, I've mostly been able to bring my whole self to work every day. And the realization that my colleagues of color have not felt able to or given permission to, or have felt as though they would be judged or (consciously or unconsciously) because of their life experience, was just so eye opening for me. Especially in this year that seems to have highlighted incredible racial inequalities, I have truly been touched and … [Read more...]
Affirming love
Neighbors planting flags on their lawns affirming love of people, not hate. … [Read more...]
Feeling Seen
[Name] and I serve on a local Howard County board together. She is Filipina and I am a Black woman. We are Facebook friends and I noticed how she was very vocal about her support of Black Lives Matter, and I appreciated that. I felt seen. When the Anti-Asian hate was making the news, I reached out to her and showed my support. We have since grown deeper in our friendship and sisterhood. … [Read more...]
Neighbors and Strangers
This is not really a story but more a reflection of my observations in my own neighborhood. I live in a townhouse community of about 95 homes. In my cul-de-sac there are about 15 houses. We have quite a diverse population within the cul-de-sac. We have African-American neighbors, Asian neighbors, Jewish neighbors. What is frustrating is that we seem to live in separate worlds. We are neighborly and acknowledge each other but we don't seem to mix when it comes to our social events within the … [Read more...]
Jumpstart not a starter
They started the JUMP Start program to help mix races together but the kids who participate in program really can't participate at the school because they have to catch the bus back home. the school system didn't think to have 2 bus systems. one for right after school and one for student who want to participate in activities … [Read more...]
HCPS vandalism
My Spouse works for HCPSS, One day he let me know of a meeting he was attending about a recent vandalism in a school bathroom. I usually don't ask follow up questions about work, but this time I enquired. To my surprise he said that the incident involved swastikas being painted. I was shocked to hear that this would occur in my community and the idea that children were responsible. This is equally upsetting because my spouses family is Jewish and I know this affected my spouse deeply, despite … [Read more...]
Starting the conversation
My 10-year-old niece, who is white (as am I), was telling me a story of something that happened to her, and referred to someone in the story as "a man who had dark skin." I waited until she was done, and then asked her why she referred to that man as having dark skin instead of just saying that he was black. She said that she felt bad referring to someone as black, because she didn't want anyone to think she was racist. She also wasn't sure if he was African-American, and Islander, etc., and … [Read more...]
Two different worlds
The pandemic brought the moment of "things have got to change". The xenophobia triggered by "China virus" or "Chinese virus" and all kinds of conspiracy theories caused collateral damages on the Asian American communities. Many anti-Asian American incidents happened across the country. I feel a new version of Chinese exclusion law coming up. That is very crazy. However, at the local community, I have so many friendly neighbors and friends of different ethnic backgrounds. It is very difficult for … [Read more...]
Everyday Trauma
I am traumatized daily around the pronunciation of my name, which to some, is an ethnic spin on a traditionally white name. I am full of grace for mispronunciation. We all need that. What is never graceful is others asking why my name is spelled or pronounced the way it is. Or, those who go further to tell me I am mispronouncing my own name! I formerly thought of these interactions as microaggressions, but as it literally happens almost everyday, there's nothing micro about it at all. It mounts … [Read more...]
Youth-led Antiracism March
Participating in the June 2020 youth-led antiracism march following the murder of George Floyd gave me hope for improving race relations in Howard County. Seeing so many people of many races and backgrounds coming together in a common humanity and in protest against police brutality was an important step in affirming the desire for justice, motivating change and finding solutions. … [Read more...]
Racist Lens
Narratives and dynamics repeated in the county frequently imply that people in need in the county are Black and Latino. When I saw the diversity of people collecting food at a recent distribution it made me realize that I'd internalized some of that rhetoric. Even during a pandemic and related contraction of jobs I'm ashamed to say I was surprised by the full diversity of people coming to receive food. I've since wondered about our social services - I don't think that we're doing enough to help … [Read more...]
Inclusive Neighborhood
I moved to a new neighborhood 4 years ago in Howard County. I am so grateful that I found this inclusive, mix racial community (religions and race) where we get to share and celebrate different festivals. We have a Facebook group for our community where we learn more about our neighbors and we connect with them to share news or volunteer to help decorate for Halloween. I just noticed recently that in one of our common area's, I saw a sign that said "Ramadan Mubarak" and last month we celebrated … [Read more...]
Missing Talent
"My (white) daughter was online in her gifted and talented class. I happened to come in to put away some laundry and glanced at her screen. I was stunned to see that in all the class there was only one Black child, although there are about equal number of white and Black students in the school (Asian kids were pretty well represented). I thought, "Oh, no! There are missing kids. Missing Black talent." And then I felt overwhelmed. "I'm not even in the school system. How are we supposed to … [Read more...]
Education is the key
I'm one of the managers for the library system. Shortly after I got this job, a library co-worker told me that people of my race don't make good managers. The same co-worker is now working through the training as the rest of us and, maybe I'm reading too much into this, but I can see subtle changes in how she relates to me so I remain hopeful that race relations will improve through more education and open dialogues on this topic. … [Read more...]
Another story
Another story: I Don't Tell People I'm Chinese Anymore As the rates of Asian American hate crime cases started going up, and I witnessed how my community members were reacting to it, several Asian Based shops got vandalized. My dad sat me and my little brother down and told us not to tell people I'm Chinese anymore, as if we already didn't know that. … [Read more...]
Buyer Beware
Buyer Beware: My husband and I began renting a home when we relocated to Howard County a few years ago. Last year we began looking for a home to purchase here. We were shocked and saddened when our realtor suggested we not look or purchase in certain areas of Columbia (he named them) because the schools and neighbors "were bad". We purchased in Columbia with another agent. I shudder to think how many home buyers have had similar experiences and the detriment it causes to our community. … [Read more...]
Planting Trees Together
A Columbia tree planting earlier this month had the most diverse group of attendees I'd ever seen at an environmental event. … [Read more...]
Pumpkin or Sweet Potato Pie?
For the past 3 years I have been part of an interracial, intercultural group which meets twice a month. We discuss everything except politics. We have talked about George Floyd and our families' Christmas traditions. I was surprised to hear that pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving was not universal but that many African Americans do sweet potato pie instead. We have built a great trust relationship and solid friendships with all participants. We have about 20 members. This is, I think, a model for what … [Read more...]
Racist Mail
Our neighborhood received racist mail. A sticker was placed on old magazines and flyers that promoted interracial distancing due to COVID, and the flyers were distributed in driveways. There is no place in Howard county for this type of hate and ignorance. … [Read more...]
Change Is Needed
At first I was a little hesitant to choose this prompt, because HoCo is known for being progressive. But then I began ticking off recent events: the caller into a town hall who disparaged immigrants, the vandalism of the GMS sign, the property damage at local restaurants over the Chinese New Year holiday. I began to realize there are more instances of "things that have to change" than I would like to admit in the county. … [Read more...]
Neighbor for a Neighbor
I work in a non-profit organization that helps new Americans to get access to opportunities. I witnessed a situation that gave me hope about racial equality in HoCo. It was a US citizen, a white guy that called to our organization to help a family that recently moved to their neighborhood, they didn't speak English and this neighbor just step up and call us to get some help and opportunities for this family just because he saw that need. That gave me hope, it wasn't someone that he knew for a … [Read more...]
Now They Know
I participated in the Howard County Equity Collaborative. It was interesting to gather a group of citizens who want to see change in the county, but didn't always realize their own biases. There were some Asian participants who had not felt the sting of being considered less than or being hated until the COVID 19 pandemic hit. They became targets for hatred comments and other negative behaviors. Then they understood what many African Americans have gone through for many many years. … [Read more...]
Community Cleanup
I recently worked a community clean up event. In the past, cleanup events consists primarily of white individuals, with very low numbers of minority and/or black and brown community members. This event, however, was a major improvement. There were families from various ethnic backgrounds coming together to clean and beautiful the community. … [Read more...]
Hope for change
Neighbors and colleagues who, in the past, would have avoided acknowledging or discussing racism, microagressions, and their existence in Howard County - either because of discomfort or denial - are now engaging in these discussions. I find this encouraging because we can only begin to address these if we admit that it is happening here. … [Read more...]
Embrace Languages
"It's so immensely frustrating when I hear customers/employees/random passerby say, "They should speak English, this is America." I've seen it when caregivers speak to their little ones in other languages (Korean, Spanish, Polish, etc), translating books in real-time. It frustrates me because that person reading out loud to their child already knows people are saying just that, but they want to provide their child a space to learn another language, and give them the same experience everyone in … [Read more...]
Housing Barriers
I work with survivors with domestic violence and sexual violence, as a therapist. One of the ongoing challenges many survivors face - disproportionately survivors of color - is barriers to safe, affordable housing in HoCo. There is the issue of lack of affordable housing, and then the almost impossible process of trying to locate affordable housing (on top of minimal available time = folks already working several jobs, often having limited access to adequate transportation, not to mention other … [Read more...]
Running Buddies
For the past 6 years I've been a part of a morning exercise group. We all come from many racial and ethnic backgrounds and three times a week we meet up at 6am, work out, and and encourage each other to get stronger and better. This feels to my like what Howard County is meant to be like. … [Read more...]
AAPI
Stop AAPI hate rally After the horrific incidents of AAPI hate around the country and in Howard County, I was heartened by the way a range of groups, representing a wide set of racial and religious communities, came together quickly to organize a rally to be in solidarity with the AAPI community here. This action reminded me of how Howard County came together in response to Black Lives Matter, the Tree of Life Synagogue shooting, and other events. In all of those incidents, I felt a greater … [Read more...]
Blame Game
As I watched the recent debates around redistricting in the county I observed a community that felt even more divided than perhaps in the past. The testimony's before the board of education, the online discussion on facebook groups, and the community conversations were striking as they were filled with disparaging language around those living in poverty, sterotypes of those living in apartment and townhome communities, and Black and Latinx families. There were characterizations of Columbia, and … [Read more...]
Profiled
Since hearing a Race Equity Collaborative colleague tell of his son being followed by police here in HoCo, I started watching during my short, pandemic-range drives to see who I saw stopped by the cops. Only once did a see a white person stopped. All the other stops (<10) were people of color. I'm not at all convinced this relates to minding the driving rules. Certainly not speed-related driving rules. I've seen plenty of white males whizzing past me at excessive speeds, ignoring stop signs, … [Read more...]
Passed Over
This experience is something that happened 6-7 years ago at a previous job in which I worked. I don't know if I would consider it "racism" vs some sort of implicit bias of what senior leadership felt I was capable of doing in a job. I'm not sure. But, I was working at this job for over 10 years in a managerial position overseeing 4 locations. Senior leadership decided to restructure my position and hire a Director over each location. I did apply for the restructured position, and was not … [Read more...]
Suburbs and Segregation
This weekend my family went to Western Regional Park. We probably saw 200 people - not one African American. Made me upset at the history that underlies that of hate and risk in that area. Made me upset at how much we accept segregated space in our county and our country. Made me worry that people had chosen to live in that space in part for segregation - and made me concerned about how we can make more racial equity real in our county if many of our residents choose where they are to be away … [Read more...]
Soccer Moms
A group of adults, adult caregivers or parents, were talking together while their elementary school aged children played soccer at a local park. Multiple ethnicities and races were represented, and all of adults were women, apparently in early-mid thirties. … [Read more...]
I Read It in a Book
During a Battle of the Books team meeting with my daughter, we were discussing excerpts from Kekla Magoon's, The Season of Styx Malone. One of the white students couldn't believe that a parent would ever encourage their child to be ordinary and just keep their head down. The family in question is black. We then went on to discuss how the parent was trying to keep his black sons safe. It gave me so much hope to know that we can raise our white children to really see, advocate for, and amplify the … [Read more...]
Getting to Know You
I volunteer on the Courageous Conversations planning committee. CC offers great opportunity for people of different backgrounds to come together to try to understand one another. At the last session there were great ideas about how to move forward as individuals, congregations and community. Love the idea of having a Diversity Picnic and Diversity Walks. … [Read more...]
